We’ve known that you need to build relationships in business. We know that women are better at building them than men. Now we know why. (Read the book to learn more.)

How To Find “Old” Relationships

I had coffee with a friend I had met in the 80s. We had lost touch over the years but I found her again via Linkedin! Thank goodness for social networking.

We talked for 3 hours about many things – what happened to each of us, what we’re doing now, and finally how we could help each other.

The following are some techniques you can use to find them:

• use the phone book (online if you don’t have a paper one).
• use a search engine like google or ask
• use social media like facebook or linkedin
• ask mutual friends
• be creative

How To Maintain Relationships

Whether a relationship is new or one you’ve had for years you can and should maintain them using one or more of the following methods. You may use some already.

• call them by phone
• send an email (ask for their phone number so you can speak in person)
• have coffee or tea or lunch BUT get together somehow
• email them something pertinent to their interests. This will show you’re thinking of them.
• meet them for an event you’re both attending
• get a ride with them to a networking event you’re both going to. I do and talk with business colleagues during ride to catch up.
• send a birthday card by mail or electronically
• call for Christmas with a holiday wish for good health and prosperity
• other ideas?

If you any other ways you maintain your relationships, share them with everyone. I’ve only included a few here.

Kinds of Courses

1. “Live” Course. This is just as it says. You’re in a seminar or course with a group of people in a physical place like a hotel. Pros: networking with people, “personalized” attention from instructor Cons: cost – your time to get there, parking and fuel, no free “recording” of the course.
2. Telecourses (phone courses) or Webinars These are a new use of an existing technology – phones or computers. Pros: recording of the sessions if you have to miss one, cheaper, no travel time for you or the instructor, no cost for parking, can get a replay if you’re not available, you can use your laptop computer for webinars Cons: networking with other participants is difficult or impossible, you may be at a client and therefore no access to long distance or computers, difficult to get to someplace with wireless access for webinars

You can see that both types have their pros and cons. For me who can’t travel as easily since my stroke (if a seminar is in town I either have to pay for a taxi or find another participant to give me a ride) the telecourses and webinars are perfect. I can take several each year and I never have to leave home. Thank goodness for technology:-) But choose for yourself.

Why Take Courses?

1. Well, as a lifelong learner I believe in education and learning. So you should never stop learning. Even if it’s a free teleclass as long as the advertising of the speaker’s next course they’re offering is kept to a minimum, sign up for them. The good news is that all teleclasses are recorded. The bad news is that the slides used in a webinar aren’t always available.
2. Networking is the first kind of marketing I always suggest. At a live seminar you can choose the other students you wish to and talk with them or set up to meet them. You also have an opportunity to meet the instructor in person (skype takes care of that if you take a telecourse).

How do hear about them?

Ask the same people you asked about what newsletter to subscribe to (#3 in my list of 8 actions) and books to read (#4 in my list of 8 actions). I’ll repeat them here.

• Ask your mentor and your coach which ones they go to or listen to. Ask them which ones they would recommend. Have a list of what’s offered that you’re considering.
• Read websites and go to the ones the business owners suggest.
• Ask other women at networking events.
• Check out the ones the writers/ owners of the newsletters you subscribe offer.

Remember to check them out before you spend the money. Take a free teleclass they give. Make a list of what matters to YOU. Make sure professional development costs are in your planning budget.

Early in 2011, I  took a group coaching program/ telecourse for 10 weeks from Tsufit  – “Step Into Spotlight Live” at  http://tsufit.com/blog/ and it was very productive. Often I’m called a “marketing expert” and that’s because I keep learning – through books, newsletters, telecourses and conferences. But I learn the most from YOU – my students and followers. YOU ask the questions and if I know I tell you the answer. If I don’t know I tell you and then search to learn it and then tell YOU

That’s how it works. It’s okay to not know the answer. Just ask … then you’ll know

What don’t you know? Ask here and I’ll give you answer AND so will others!

Have passion for your business topic and love to learn.

You can learn a lot from books. Recently I decided I wanted to learn more more about a concept called neuromarketing. I had the name of several books so when I had the opportunity to go a bookstore I could scan them and decide which ones were for me. I ended up buying two of them.

Forms of books.

It used to be that there were two forms for books – hardcover and paperback. I know you could also get “books on tape” or books with large fonts. Now there are also ebooks. More authors are making sure their book besides being on paper is also an ebook.

It’s really difficult to choose an ereader because each book chain has its own. But that’s another post.

What should you read?

• It goes without saying that you need to read books about your topic. It’s professional development (here in Canada you can deduct Professional Developments books and not just courses) or Research and Development and it should be ongoing. So if you took a course and think you can stop learning then you can’t.
• Go beyond your topic. Stay at the leading edge. That’s why I’m reading books about “neuromarketing”.
• Read about how to start a business and how to market. Remember that you can’t know too much.

Where can you learn what you should read?

• Browse your topic in bookstores.
• Read newsletters online (that’s where I learned about neuromarketing. Patsi Krakoff of The Blogsquad wrote about what she’s read in http://writingontheweb.com/2010/10/24/neuromarketing-books-for-marketing-brains/ ).
• Browse authors and your topic at online bookstores like amazon or Chapters or Borders.
• Visit blogs. (They’re the topic of another post.)

Tell me what books you’re reading. As you know, I love to know about them Share the titles with everyone!

Do you remember when all newsletters were printed on paper and came by mail? I do. In the 80s when I co-owned an Apple computer store in Toronto, we had a one page one. It was even before desktop publishing. We would type it (on computer), print one, give that to a printer, tell him how many copies to make, pick them up, fold and stuff them in envelopes, put a label for each customer on the envelope (Yes. We had a database program.), put a stamp on each and go to either a mailbox or the post office to mail them. WHEW! No wonder we were one of the few companies that did them

Ezine or newsletter? What are they called?

They’re now electronic and are called either ezines (pronounced like magazine) or newsletters. Some businesses still have a paper one partly because their clients don’t have/ use/ know computers. We use them because it’s “free” to start and postage (at least here in Canada. As of January 1, 2012 it costs 61 cents to mail inside Canada) is too expensive.

Why subscribe to newsletters?

There are several reasons and each newsletter ALWAYS has a way to unsubscribe. It’s the law in Canada and the U.S. So subscribe to several for now. You can always unsubscribe.

Get several that are run by people in your business (your competitors). Here’s what to look for:

• do they publish in text or in html (the “pretty looking” format) and do they give you a choice
• what do they write about (you may want to write on their topics)
• do YOU learn something (you should always be learning and this one way)
• do they give you solid information or do they just advertise their products (the rule of thumb is 80% knowledge and 20% sales)

How do you know which newsletters to subscribe to?

• Ask your mentor and your coach what they subscribe to. That’s why I had you get a mentor and a coach to start.
• Read websites and go to the ones the business owners suggest.
• Ask other women at networking events.

Well. What newsletters do YOU subscribe to and why? Tell everyone so they know. I get ones about blogging, about marketing to women, about small businesses, about PR, about networking events here in Toronto, …. You can see that I subscribe to many.

Every once in a while I “clear the clutter” and unsubscribe to a few. How do I decide? Well for me they’re often ones I don’t read any more.

The Merriam Webster dictionary defines them this way .. “a coach instructs or trains. … a consultant gives professional advice or services; an expert.”

That doesn’t really help you, though does it? A coach can and should be expert too. But what matters is that the coach is a teacher who is also your cheerleader and trains you so you can do it yourself and the consultant gives you advice and possibly does something for you.

You’ll eventually need a consultant but you need a business coach first.

Why should you have a business coach?

This is your first business, isn’t it? You were very good at your job and may have moved up through the ranks. You may have worked for a large corporation that had multiple offices. But this may be the first time you’ve had your own business and you probably don’t know what to do.

Don’t worry. If you hire the right coach, you will.

A coach knows the right question to ask. A session with a coach could be a mini “steeping” (like tea) session where you shut out the world and just steep and reflect inwardly.

Who is the RIGHT coach and how do you find her/ him?

Here are some ideas.

1. Make a list of these: who you are (do you ask a lot of questions?), how you’d like to work (daily or weekly, by phone or in person), how you learn (are you visual, auditory or kinesthetic?).
2. talk to friends or colleagues who have their own business and ask who they used. Would they use them again? Refer them?
3. If you don’t know anyone with their own business call a “stranger” who has a successful business that’s similar to the kind you want to begin and and ask them.
4. Ask your mentor. That’s why you you get one first
5. Make an appointment with several people who are coaches. Many have a free session. See who “fits” with you.

REMEMBER …

• it’s YOUR decision. YOU choose them not vice versa.
• You’ll have a lot of no’s before you have a “yes”
• Trust your feelings.

Let me know what happens. If you’re already in business then what criteria did YOU use to choose YOUR coach?

What is a mentor?
Many people have them in their jobs – someone experienced and trustworthy who already does the job one aspires to. I’d add wise. My Oxford dictionary defines wise as “… having … or showing experience and knowledge judiciously applied; sagacious … sensible; discreet …”

In business the same thing applies – have a mentor.

Kinds of mentors
1. Unreachable (for now) but someone who you aspire to be like. Use Oprah as an example. You may want to be like her – a successful and well known business woman who does everything with integrity. You would like to meet her but assume you’re too “unknown” for her (for now).

2. Someone nearby who you could contact. The TV show “The View” today had each of the hosts talking with their mentor. That person followed them through the years, always believed in them and their dream, gave them advice in a kind and gentle way, helped them up when they were down, and felt pride (and showed it) in each accomplishment along their path.

Qualities of a mentor
Reachable
Helpful
Believe you can do it and tell you to your face
Trustworthy
Wise
Someone you aspire to be like
Gives you advice in a kind and gentle way

You really need a mentor when you have a startup business. I aspired to be like Mark Victor Hansen for marketing and Jack Canfield for self esteem. They’re remembered best as co-authors of the Chicken Soup book series. In 1982 I met each of them. They each helped me in their own ways and today if I call they call back.

That’s what a mentor is. Do YOU have one yet? Who did you choose?

When ATMs or banking machines were installed everyone thought it would mean the demise of bank tellers but they found out the opposite. People used bank tellers even more than before these “cash machines”. An example of why “high tech means high touch”.

Last week I was at a hospital for a blood transfusion (I have a very rare blood condition and have had more than 30 transfusions since the condition was diagnosed in 1978. Don’t worry – it’s become “normal” for me.).

They had “a great new addition” or so they think. They could give more treatments than before and so help even more patients. Well there were 3 administrators at a big long desktop who checked you in at their computer and gave you a pager.

When mine hadn’t buzzed even though I’d been there for more than an hour I went back up to ask what had happened and was it normal to wait this long. She checked my name on the computer and said my “product” wasn’t ready yet. No mention of how long long I’d still have to wait and no offer to “physically” check for me – just on the computer.

Well to make a long story short it was a volunteer who helped me out after I’d been waiting for 90 minutes. I got my transfusion and of course I’m fine now.

Why didn’t the person at the computer get up and check for me. She was just an admin person doing her job. It was only in her job description to check the computer.

Do I trust computers? Yes and no. It really depends on the person using it.

So is “high tech” better? Yes and no. Yes more people get their transfusions and infusions. No because if one asks then the person at the computer only checks the computer.

What would you do if it was your business? I hope you said “Help the customer. Get up off the chair and check why and come back with a REAL answer.”

It really helps if you ..

• Focus. Choose a business goal not just personal ones. Pick one that is really “doable”.
• Write it down. Studies show that putting something in writing really works. After you write the goal, put it where you’ll see it every day – in your kitchen, beside your computer, on the bathroom mirror. Be creative!
• Tell it to others. Make the goal public. Say it out loud – to individuals or a group.
• Take action. As the Nike slogan goes “just do it”!

And if you haven’t chosen a goal yet, sit quietly, by yourself, with your eyes closed, and it will come to you.

http://www.trudyvanbuskirk.typepad.com/

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